Once of my closest and dearest of friends George is marrying his long time girlfriend Cristina in a couple of weeks.
I am happy for them. They have seen the world. Spent so much time and grew so much together as a couple. This is as close to a fairy tale or a movie like "The Notebook" that I can really say actually happened.
As I said, I am happy for both of them. They finally made that decision. The "plunge". Something that though a lot of my friends are fortunate as well with their spouses, many have sunk to the depths of failure. The global statistic for a marriage to last is 50% and rising.....More call it quits after tying the knot in this day and age.
Yet I am also sad. This is the selfish me talking. Another brick in the wall goes up (or down) depending on how you look at it. Another buddy lost to his own family along with responsibilities, problems and yes....time.
I fear the future for I have lost many to their new families. Such is the life of a perennial bachelor. Another friend won't be there to hang with when I need someone to hear me out. Someone to joke around anytime and act plain stupid with just for the heck of it.
My closest friends have this sort of "tradition" with me. I never took notice of it but I did after the second or third guy got hitched. This is way deeper than the wild stag parties or "donkey shows" that girls think are the highlights of pre-marriage for men. Before D-Day, my friends would spend extra time with me. Out of the blue they would knock at my door to hang at my place, kidnap me to some faraway place for a cup of coffee, call me at random times just to hang or even just grab drinks anywhere. Now back in the day when I drank like a whale, I was the one asking them out for out booze nine times out of ten. For once, it was them that were asking for the spirits.
I guess this is just their way of saying goodbye to me as a bachelor. I know we will still be friends somehow. Maybe I can even be Godfather to their kids once day. One thing is for sure, this is one ride that they go in with someone else by their side.
Sadly, ce'st la vie. That's just how it rolls. I just thought that as I age that I won't be as affected and by now be totally inured by it. Boy, a 44 year old dinosaur does still have some sort feelings after all.....
I can go on and write about the horror stories of my friends that took the chance and regretted it immensely. For some, the second time around was much better. Some vowed never again to be chained by matrimony.
Funny, but when I ask along time married male or female friends of mine a hypothetical question like "Take out the kids, would you marry the same person?". I am astounded by the neutral to mostly negative responses I get. Rarely do I get a resounding "YES" to these questions.
These horror stories make me cringe and reaffirm my acceptance that I am not of the marrying kind. It sounds like a job that you can not get out from, forever.....
I may write in detail about my other reasons for being unmarried in the future but for this one let's stick to George and Cristina, the soon to be newlyweds.
The holidays have just passed and I managed to skirt the usual "holiday blues" I get dring the Yuletide season being alone and all. This marriage may just punch me a bit.
People change after they get hitched. Whatever happens. It is not necessarily negative though but nonetheless, that vow they take, the lifestyle and the new life they seek changes them.
I, on the other hand remain to be. The loyal friend. The perennial excuse for the wives when they get caught being not so good. The third wheel. Maybe that is my dharma, my purpose. I was built for that reason. Maybe.
I actually believe so myself.
George and Cristina's day approaches. I got my invite today, hand delivered with my name in an ornate hand written calligraphy. It is on. Only one gear on this train, GO. My heart feels heavy.
Though I am sad, I am sincerely more happy for a my friend George. His happiness infects me. I am proud to be part of this life event of his. My sadness will pass. Another one bit the dust but life must go on.
To George and Cristina,I wish you a fruitful life together filled with love and happiness. Unlike the rest, I just know you will weather any storm that passes your lives, together.
As Luca Brasi once said "May that first child, be a masculine child".
Congratulations! It is a wonderful world!
❤️
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