The Tao of Facebook

Life these days is so different from back in my day.

In those days, music was limited to 12 or 45 inches or tapes lasting 120 minutes max or a video cam had tape and was the size of a personal refrigerator.  These days its social media.  News travels so fast.  Messages sent instantly.  Back then snail mail was really the only way to mail.  A love letter took about 11 days to get to anywhere....wow.

Today with Twitter, Instagram and Facebook everything happens just too quickly, even the wrong information.

I deactivated my Facebook account.  From the looks of it, I could either start anew with a new account or just do away with it.  Social media is a double edged sword.  Make or break you, it easily can.

As a fitting tribute I thought of somethings I learned in my life that I can relate with living life with the use of Facebook.  

Here it goes, the "Tao" of Facebook:

ADD 

• people that have a positive impact in your life, 
• Life experiences,     
• Good memories.         

LIKE

• your  blessings.
• your family and real friends,
• Sunrises and sunsets. 
• Life in general.

UNLIKE 

• what you thought you liked, 
• what you dislike, do not pretend. 

BLOCK

• the negatives in your life,
• the posers,
• the people or things that add drag to your life,
• anything and everything or anyone you do not want to be with.                                   

ACQUAINTANCES                                 

• are acquaintances. They don't know you. You don't know them.   
• they could be friends, someday.
• they could also be scheming, cold blooded leeches or serial killers.  
• keep a safe, safe distance from these people.                                                 

IGNORE 

• the haters. They won't change their mind, 
• those that don't matter, shouldn't matter, 
• the past mistakes that you cannot correct.                                        

UNFRIEND 

• those that are not your  real 'friends'.  Simple.

MESSAGE 

• God
• Family
• Real friends and those close to your heart

NOTIFY

• People how much you love them, how you value what they mean to you them from time.
• People that may need help.

NOT NOW

•  Know what matters the most, prioritize.

 EDIT YOUR SETTINGS

• from time to time, find your bearing
• take corrective measures to be a better person
• evaluate where you are, who you are and WHAT you are.

EVENTS 

• worth going to should be calendared.
• attend events that are safe and of interest to you
• when you confirm, go. 

JOIN

• Groups that you want to join.
• Have a "tribe", a "crew" of people you really want to associate with.

LEAVE 

• Groups that don't want you there
• Crowds that you don't "fit in" to. Easily.

CREATE 

• your own group to share your interests and experiences to uplift your soul

UPDATE YOUR STATUS

• keep yourself informed update yourself
• only you can imorove your life status

CHECK IN

• from time to time with your friends
• your location with your family and friends

DEACTIVATE

• bad company
• bad thoughts
• bad habits
• negativity
• bad memories

TIMELINE 

• Major life decisions are turning points in your timeline.  Discern what to highlight, forget and discard.
• Only YOU can add whatever you think should be on your timeline.  It's your life. 
• Like Como once sang cherish and  "remember the times of YOUR life" .....

 POKE 

• at yourself sometimes.  Just for fun.  

Will I re-activate my account?  I do not know.  Maybe.  Maybe not. I have benefited from FB, had fun, reconnected and disconnected with people but I also wasted so much time in it.

A personal crisis also prevents me from being "connected".

Zuckerberg you are a genius is all I can say.  The new Renaissance has begun.  Don't spend it all in one place kid.  Thank you for the life wisdom that I derived from your social network.  I would love to have the opportunity to meet you someday.

Still standing at 45: Birthday Thoughts

Paradise

Two hours in into my 45th birthday and I signed up to work for a short term security project in a paradise resort away, far away, from friends, family and those that matter.

July 2, 1969. I was born at about 0800H to my late mother Ester.  My late father was a sailor aboard ship that rushed to see me a few days later.  My mother told me my father was ecstatic, jumping for joy when we met.  Babies are always a good reason to celebrate.

Wow. 45. I remember when I was a kid that I ask d my mom how old she was and when she said she was 45 I thought she was ancient.  Now I feel ancient. Time doesn't fly. It zings past you like a meteor.


Looking back at my colorful life I ponder.  Where did all the years go?  These days it is so different.  Bones ache.  Memories fade.  Bills need to be paid. The little future ahead has to be planned.

Tonight, as I lay on my bed in a beautiful resort area I think of what to write to commemorate my 45 years on this earth. After some thought I decided to write about some thoughts I have had leading up to where I am now.

Here goes nothing, I thank God for:

1. the food on my table, the roof over my head, the shirt on my back
2. my commanding presence, my built and the little bit swag I got.  On top of that, if I was made like Rudolph Valentino that would have been an injustice to the human race.
3. making the moves in His cosmic game of chess involving my life putting me where He wanted me to be in His time.   
4. allowing me to be sent to a better school than my smarter relatives, somehow letting me get into the premier state university in my country, graduating despite the doubt of others and the odds.  
5. failing an entrance exam that would have got me killed if I made it in that school.  
6. making me need to go to a public restroom while with a friend that led me into a Business School degree. 
7. opening doors for me because of all of the above. Giving me a shot at so many things.
8. giving me a chance to pursue a career, giving me jobs to do, to try.
9. allowing me to go on, putting me in  place where I could be helped when I had 6 hours to live a few years ago
10. for around 100 people that I can say truly love and appreciate me. That's much more than enough.
11. helping educate myself, in school and the school of LIFE
12. the past mistakes I made that made me learn and made me stronger
13. giving me such a loving mother and a father that did the right thing in the end
14. giving our family an angel that brought so much happiness in our life
15. giving my brother two wonderful sons that i love so much
16. giving me an Uncle that is more than just an Uncle.
17. my gift of gab, the little wit I have
18. the thick face that allows me to go onstage anytime intoxicated or not
19. my twisted sense of humor that some appreciate but some see as total madness
20. the the many other talents and skills I am just beginning to tap and discover
21. giving me the few wonderful friends that trust  me with their lives.
22. still allowing me to care for others no matter how much hurt I continue to endure
23. the sweet words I receive from people that matter.
24. giving me so many casual friends and the few real ones
25. giving me "special" friends
26. the few that love and care for me genuinely
27. allowing me to lose friends that were never my friends anyway
28. all the girls that that I loved even though they did not love me back.  It would have been a total disaster if they did anyway.
29. allowing those I have hurt to forgive me
30. helping me forgive
31. giving me a sense of purpose, doing the right thing or something meaningful
32. helping get off the whiskey wagon for the 5th year
33. giving me renewed hope in life, love and my pursuit of happiness
34. helping me accept myself completely
35. for the 45 years that I woke up for the day.

  Now it is morning.  I am still in a posh resort. Quiet. Calm. Staring at the peaceful sea.  This place is like out Lifestyles of the Rich and Famous.  Clearly it's a dream. I don't belong here. It is great though I am being productive with a real great bud than being sidelined at home.  Far away, keeping my head occupied, away from the troubles I face, the realities of life.  Look at the pics and video.  This  place is fabulous fit for only the rich and famous.

Now for my birthday wishes.  They are not much. I wish that:

1. I loose all those pretending to be my friends and I learn the tried and true to keep them for life.
2. all those dear to me find happiness
3. I become an even better friend, a better person in general, a great Uncle, Godfather, family friend to the children of my friends
4. I do not grow old alone and if I do, that I can be of no burden to anyone
5. there are more  parents in the world that will love their children immensely. Not all have the privilege of being a parent.
6. that I may have all that I need for the remainder of my life
7. Yolanda and other victims of disaster cope and recover from their loss
8. I can see the world. Europe, India and Africa.
9. I leave my mark in this world. No matter how minute or trivial.
10. I die a glorious death, in a blaze of glory, not just fizzle out but with a really BIG bang!

45 thoughts on my 45th year.


Life has been good.  Life does begin after 40 for me. It's been a rough, challenging but definitely a fun and profound experience. 

Thank you God.

One for the Daddy's

"A truly rich man is one whose children run into his arms when his hands are empty. "  - Unknown

 It's Fathers day. A day when dads of all race or creed are honored.  

Back in college I took courses on Child Development, Family Life and others that dealt with the human condition. Strange. If you ever see me you would never have thought that I even got to college. Well life is strange. What's more strange is the fact that despite my colorful college transcript, I actually learned a few things in school.

The textbook definitions of fatherhood is pretty much common sense. Procreate. Provide. Let them them go after college.  It is basically something like that.

Fatherhood is a great and complex responsibility.  Being one not only entails feeding, housing and providing for someone else related to you. Those are just the basics. As in business, warfare and romance, textbooks can only take you so far.  It is different when you are "on the ground" so to speak.   

To me, being a father is such a Herculean tasks that goes on until your last breathe has been exhaled. Definitely not  a laughing matter.. Being a dad involves shaping another  person's soul, developing them to be responsible, productive citizens of this world. Your kids are living proof that you once existed in this world.  In a nutshell, you should do humanity a favor by developing your children to be the "improved" versions of you.

By the way, I never had children.   I will never be a father. I missed the bus and I know myself. I would not be a good one anyway. 

The point of this writing is my own tribute to people I know that are great fathers to their children or maybe they have great dads themselves.

To those would be fathers that are much younger than I am, think of this as a "Daddy Fan page" kinda thing. Something scribbled by someone that wished he could have had kids and became a dad remotely close to the people I am writing about. 

There are no hard and fast rules or formulas for being a parent. Some guidelines and practical experience shared as one goes through the process helpsthough the best reference for fatherhood is your own experience .  How your own father was to you.

How I envy my friends and relatives that have been stupendous in their roles as daddies.  Some drop everything for their kid's in a heartbeat.  Some never miss a ball game.  A camping trip.  Some take them bonding to meaningful and not necessarily expensive trips.  Some taught their sons to drive themselves.  The words of wisdom during such events also impacts children immensely.

Children become adults.  When they do, they remember the walks on the beach, the barbecues, father and son camps, the kind words, the boxing lessons, the most expensive currency spent on them - time.

Rich or poor.  All will agree to what I have stated.  Time. Quality time and experiences spent with their fathers is something money will never be able to buy..With the wisdom that they drew from these experiences, they then pass it on to their children.  It is their legacy.  At that time both father and child did not quite realize the value of it until later on in their lives.

I myself do not have much memories of my own father. That says it all. But I am still proud of him because he did the right thing in the end. That is what is important.  It's not how you start but you finish the race that counts.

My daddy was a soldier.  A good soldier like his father before him and my great grandfather.  My father taught me three (3) things that I value to this day.

1. Chess

2. Shine Shoes

3. Shoot a gun

It maybe mundane to people but to me it has a more profound meaning.   Chess is all about strategy. When I was six years old, my father taught me this game. Unknowingly, it imbibed in me a sense of strategy.  i never was good at the game but in terms of strategy in general I would like to believe that "always having a plan" is better than Forrest Gumpin' it all the time. Even though it was "cemented" at a later age, my life plan has been mapped out.  

Shakespeare once said "The apparel maketh thle man".  In any gentleman's grooming reference material, shoes is like 70% of a man's wardrobe.  Isn't there a saying "You can tell a lot about a man by his shoes".   That me me a male Imelda Marcos.  I got more pairs than most guys and yes, I shine them regularly making them cleaner than the jungle where I live in.  

As for shooting, a man has to learn how to defend himself and his family.  It is not about being stupidly brave but by being a smart fighter.  In the process  also learned a thing or two about firearms, just enough.

I am appalled to hear about irresponsible fathers. Oftentimes in social occasions I meet guys that boast of having six, eight, maybe fifteen children with different women.  These guys boasts of their virility, how good they are at managing to sire children with these "hot", "younger" women.   I sit there and in the back of my head think "You stupid sack of shit idiot. You think you got one big dick by bringing in these children to this world and you earn 10$ a day, and a delusional drunk.   What will children's future be with an absentee father like you?  They will probably  starve, lie, steal, and probably be just like you or worse a criminal that ends up behind bars.  They will also end up hating you for bringing them into this Godforsaken life that they are enduring.".  Think about it.  Even rich guys do that.  They just provide a lttle more money for the basics but not much of the time.

During such times I just smile condescendingly at these idiot's rants.  I guess it is my way of thanking the Lord above that I was not born as stupid as this guy.  These guys must also have dicks the size of lined up quarters.  They use having children to "compensate".

To those of you that receive this, please accept this as my tribute to your splendid job that I think you are doing as a father.  I envy you though I more happy for you. 

Continue to take walks with your kids, to movies, laugh kiss and hug them.  Give your son extra cash for that date, lend him the car.  Encourage him when he goes on a date. Be there when they fall.  Send your daughter to that trip. Dress her to the nines. Make her feel even more beautiful and special. Love them more,  

If you notice that at times when I am with you and your families and I have that smile on my face.  It's nothing, just the joy that radiates from you and your family.  It is that kind of joy that I earlier mentioned that money can never buy.

HAPPY FATHER'S DAY MY FRIEND!  You earned this accolade.  Continue.  "Age quod Agis" - Do what you are doing. Carry on. 

The Don's Last Ride

Such a sad few days it has been. A fraternity brother of mine was brutally murdered in cold blood.

Still in shock and starting the grieving,  I recollect the memorable times we shared with Ramon Teodoro Garcia.

 Murdered!

Starting the grieving,  I recollect the memorable times we shared with Don Ramon.

Don Ramon is a real Don. I thought it was some kind of monicker or nickname until I walked the streets of Davao and asked for directions to his place.  It turns out, he was a real "Don" like a Mafioso Don or a really rich man kinda Don.

Why were so many enamored to him?

He was a renaissance man. A man of art, music and love. Revered. Respected. The life of the party. That did not even include him owning about half of Davao City.

Sunstar

On his BMW he rode cross country. I wanted to ride with him but according to him, vespas makes him sleepy. That makes me sound like a really pussy because I top speed my scooter at 70 kph while he does 300 kph.....easily.

I was Don Ramon's guest in Davao a few months back.  It was all fun, fun, fun. It was so much fun that I volunteered to MC at his parties and blew the house down...twice.   Opened up the party with "Money for Nothing" and Don Ramon belted out his trademark song "Sultans of Swing" both by Dire Straits.  What a show! 

Booze. Boy I am glad I quit drinking. Don Ramon has truckloads of the "good stuff" in house and its aLways happy hour/smorgas-booze open to all!  i wonder if I could still gor for a swim in his swimming pool of Scotch....

 

Since then no less than Don Ramon made me his official MC for all his succeeding events and I have free tickets already booked.

In fact when, I last saw Don Ramon enter another party I introduced him like this:

"Driving from Davao to Los Baños on his PhP 2 Million, BMW with matching elan', still looking like he just showered, the real "Sultan of Swing" with a case of JW Blue following him, the owner of half the city of Davao ........"

Don Ramon wanted to shrink. He was such a modest man. Despite owning that much. It was not the material things. It was the person. Don Ramon, the man.

Don Ramon was a legend.

A couple of months ago we bestowed him a one and only fraternity watch that he wore on one of his a adventures. We felt great that he appreciated our humble gift.

Strangely, also a few month ago I composed his introduction for the next party in Davao. It was something like:

 "The only real "Don" I now, the Mafioso of the motorcycle, on his horse of steel rides the cowboy,  the man, the legend, the Sultan of Swing that also now owns more than half of Davao City....living large with no viagra needed yet..........Il Padrino, the only Don Ramon '65!!!!!!!"

I guess that will have to wait.

I maintain my pledge. As long as I am needed I would gladly host any of the Garcia family's  events as long as I am invited.

Il Padrino, ride on to the Angels. Heaven waits. Flowers will bloom in your name.  I shed a tear for you bro. I lit a candle. I know that we will meet again. 

Thank you SB Don Ramon. Thank you for the laughter. The smiles. The hospitality. The true fellowship.

See you Don Ramon, in the sun. I will tell you much.

Lastly, I have also made arrangements for an unlimited supply of lotion to the "roomates" of that sack of shirt that did this to you. It will make him a Guinness record holder for "entries"......

My Lessons from 4-20 a.k.a. Bob Marley Day 2014

I am an idiot.


There was a time in my youth when I suffered from a severe case of "reggaemylytis" with Steel pulse, Buju Banton, Yellowman, Cocojam, Tropical Depression and of course the late great Sir Bob Marley

Its been eons since I "stomped to the riddim' in a reggae stylee....."


My FB Posts says it all:

Lessons Learned from Bab Marley Day:

1. Everything's gonna be alright

2. No matter how tight security is and there are CCTV and cops everywhere at the concert venue. The stoners find a way.

3. Some idiot dreadhead lit up beside (for "camouflage") the Police Command Post. After a few puffs he was apprehended for not passing after 2 puffs.

4. One love, one heart....but there is still so much hatred in the world. EVEN in Jamaica.

5. Sometimes, when you don't pay attention to detail you screw up an opportunity to meet a gorgeous Goddess or maybe make the best performance of your life as a street comic.

6. In a reggae concert be observant, if a wayfarer wearing dreadlock rasta version of the Wendy's mascot lady approaching you is smiling with some "free pastries" and after taking one she charges you PhP 50 for a brownie....This is right BEFORE you meet a Goddess for dinner.  With some band doing a cover of "Lively Up Yourself".   What she actually said was "Jamacan Brownies, 50 pesos only").

Oh, and please read CAREFULLY what is printed on what you think was a Wendy's shirt"

7. I know this was my first entry to a dreadlock holiday in decades..... it was great.

I just believe so much in the words of my classmate Bob "Deuce Bigalow" Baynosa. "If you will crash. BURN in style..." I add: In a "blaze of glory"

Keep the faith. Everything IS gonna be alright ONE LOVE!

 --------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Oh the date? It depends how you look at it.  I was hilarious. Met wonderful lady. Smart, sexy and real.... She was also angelic.....


Again, I sincerely believe Sir Bob when he said-Everything's gonna be alright!

Missing the bus, playing Dad for at day..... at my old school

I had an episode the other day.

At a friend's house where I usually crash something hit me again.  It was like one of ths days like when I wrote:

http://my40somethingadventures.blogspot.com/2013/09/an-introverts-epiphany.html

This time my mind wandered the deserts of time. I could not sleep.  I decided to watch a rerun of the The Cosby Show, one of my favorite show of my teens.  To this day i am still a big Coz fan.

The show I saw from the forst seadon was bout the wife Claire wantig to have another baby after having five (5) children.  Cosby's character and even the other children were against it.  It  wasn't because they did not want a another baby but because of practical reasons.  The show had cameo characters.  In this one, their granmother paid a visit and gave Claire some practical advice.  Hard as it is.  After five kids, it was their turn to have their own children one day.

The show ended with Cosby's wife accepting her mother's advice, realizing the practicality of it and in a nutshell that she was..... old.

In the series, she was 45.  I turn 45 in a few months.  By now I am sure you are getting the flow of what this useless doodling is all about.

I then turn to the computer.  The good old Facebook to waste my time and induce sleepiness without the valium.  Great.  I then come across this article about 100 Reasons not to have children:

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/anjali-joshi/100-reasons-not-to-have-kids-that-i-discovered-after-i-had-one_b_5184178.html

I agree to all the reasons.  Strangely. I also agree to the final point the mother made.

Realization:  I missed the bus.

Thanks to companies like Pfizer I can stilly physically produce children.  PHYSICALLY as in the "act" of conceiving using my "ammunition".  It is what comes after that poses an issue.  A kid needs a father and mother in my book.  Not an aging father, not a dead father or an "absentee" daddy. A child needs someone that will help shape this person to a fine, loving, productive human being.  It's like cars, each model is supposed to be a better than the last, not a lemon.  Unfortunately, that is one thing I can no longer do.  Raise a child.

Oh that heavy feeling seems to get really heavy in these episodes.  I lightly sleep at about 7 am.

However, in my years I learned that these "episodes" need not be negative or destructive on my part.  back in the day, I would drink myself to oblivion  to skirt things like this.  What a pathetic coward I was.

I reaffirmed something that I will save for the last part of this writing.

The other day a classmate that also happens to be my Doctor and good friend calls me for a favor.  He had something big to do at the hospital and needed someone to take his kid to school for his basketball clinic.

Hesitantly, I agree.  I hesitate because I never did anything like this before.  It seems simple to take a kid to a ball game but it is not simple for a guy that lives alone, never had kids, gets really out of place in kiddie parties and such.   I go in the hopes of scoring with some single moms.  Its a long shot but hey, what have I got to loose right?


The day comes and all is set.  My classmate calls me about 10 am to remind me.  I fall back to sleep.  At 11 my classmate's kid calls me and asks where I am.  I thought that game or clinic was at 1pm. I figured that I had more than enough time to collect the kid from his place to laze around my school, cool out at the gym or shoot some hoops.

The kid had a stickler for time and true enough i skipped the shower and sped off to him.  We made it a full 20 minute before 1pm, in the scorching heat.

The kid sped to the gym.  Now I spent 12 years in this school.  The gym was my refuge.  Not because of the sports but being in a dome on top of the world, it was a perfect place to cool out wind breezing from all directins and a lot of places to kick back and cool.


When I got there I got questioned by a school guard for security reasons.  I point him to my "kid" and tell the guard that he's mine.   Call me paranoid but the guard had that look in his face.  It was that kinda look that "This guy is some poser parent look".  I tell Mr. Secret Service here that the mother was a beauty queen.   He then gets that stupid look off his face.  He then sported that that "That's must be why look" on his face.   Ten years ago i would have broke down....and broke one of his knees.

All sweaty and all with about 200 kids dribbling all over the place, I felt like I entered a steam bath.  Global warming turned the gym into just that. An oven. A concrete, high ceiling greenhouse.  This used to be to coolest place to hang out in!

After seeing my "kid" doing his crossover, over under behind the back, under the leg passes I try to escape the heat.

I escaped The Alcatraz of heat and venture into familar and yet unfamiliar territory.  Going around places that I knew yet are not known to me any longer.  the Prep classroom that was not there anymore, the high school building that was not the high school building.  Swinging by my old classrooms,  Grade school and High School offices like the Gudance office where I was a frequent flyer back in the day.  I pass the library where I spent a lot of time sleeping...the clinic where I cajoled the nurses that I had a temperature and had to be home.  By some strange reason I only get that 48 degree temp on Fridays.  By some miracle I do get that pass home fairly conssistently.  I had a few foster homes back then they were known as  Halfway Inn, Greenhills or St. Scholastica's College.
As i pass the halls memories flood my mind and emotions enguld my soul.  That light happy feeling called reminscing that comes when you walk in a park was there.

My "son" was still doing the drills in the greenhouse.

Like some kind of scene for "Back to the Future", I saw a bunch of seniors having their Graduation Ball, some went stag because their dates could not make it but was there with another guy anyway.  There was a kid that loved La Salle so much he studied math every summer for four years.  In places like the bookstore I see a kid buying his Grade One kit, I see a kid rolling down the ramp after being shoved by his twerp classmate.....all the way down. That was a long, long way down.  I see a in Grade 3 kid falling off the higher field straight down the lower field, screamig in pain.  There was a kid smoking at Gate 9 and getting busted thrice.  A bunch of men meeting in a room planning, violently arguing and bursting in laughter about their 25th anniversary in a conference room.

More scenes kept flashing in my mind's eye.   Some kid "shooting" his M14 rubber band gun spot on his classmates neck three rows down.  There was a kid holding this bag with a yelping peacock going into class..... that peacock kicked out a corrupt teacher.  A 40 something kid in full regalia grade school uniform dancing on stage in complete uniform, bat shit wasted.  In the cafeteria, I hear the song "Rumours".... some Brit saying clap your hands everybody was on the mic.... I the field I saw a guy singing "Sweet Child of Mine".  I also saw a chair coming straight at him....

So many of these memories race through my mind. It was all there. In my mind. In my heart. One little boy with a full grown man, funny how time flies.

Surreal.


I usually take a trip around my old school every couple of years.  I found this scribbling I made about one of those times years ago.



Here's something posted in our Yahoogroups 9 years ago:

Guys,

On a whim just today I went to LSGH to have lunch at the canteen. Goo Puyat was with me. Man, it is really strange to be back in school at around lunch time.  So many memories were rushing to my head all at once. Some were lost in time forever. Not too much kids were around at the time. 4th Yea had early dismissal due to exams. The rest o the school was in class.Its also bizarre that the school has this particular smell, Googo concurs on that one.
What a trip. The Gazebo, St. Benilde, Quadrangle, Field. We swung by the Bookstore to buy some stickers. They have some real cool kits for PhP 1,000 complete with groom bags! 

Ms. Galang is the Lower Year principal while Ms. Ella Samia heads theScience Department. Mr. Ochave is just teacher in English. Herman Rochester is gone.  We had a chat with the upper year Assistan Principal. Let's just say he was extra proud of his accomplishments (getting a Phd., kicking out seniors etc.) using the power of mathematics. I bet he also used th subject to squirm all the way to the top... Paul Gureng, 2nd Year Math, a.k.a. Ung-gawa.  On our way out there was a mommy with her problem kid on the way in. I chatted with her a bit coz she was fine, in a MILF way..... 

By the auditorium, going out we passed Ms. Gorayeb. We introduced ourselves as '87 grads. She said "Oh, that recently". Wow she must be getting senile or something.


Oh about the canteen food? It sucked big time! 

'till Friday, at sunset!
 
The ever friendly tingting


The point of this writing is my realization.  The years have passed.  i am home and yet It is no longer mine anymore.  It is a magical place and i have to be an escort to a kid that will one day ply these areas and possibly experience something like what I did now....

Done with basketball, I locate my "kid" and saddle up for home. I asked a  high school kid ask him to take the pic.  His name plate revealed something.  I knew this kid and decide to include him in the pic.  He was one of ours, just a better, more "sosyal" version of his dad that may one day make this country even stronger.

It was a great pic to cap the day.


We meet the real kid's dad.  I buy his son ice cream.  the heat, slam dunking and crossovers made him famished.  I just wanted to faint.

It was such an honor and privilege for me to do what I did that day.  I kinda wish my own Dad did something like that for me back in the day...... He was too busy driving a boat or getting shot at.

So what did I re-learn, realize and accept again?

Some things were never meant to be and their is a reason for it. ALWAYS.   But that don't mean its a punishment.  It is just His will for reasons beyond us.  There are other things that wait for us, for me.  It may not be what I want but probably just what I need.

A family, a child. I guess my prayers were answered and that is fine.  My purpose is for something else.  An old word was reused in my vocabulary; discernment.

At 45, I learn again. Some things, if it is to be, will be, if it should, it would. Simple.

Maybe some of the purpose for my life are:

1. to be some kinda quartermaster for each organization I belong to
2. be a part time Dad to my closest buds.
3. help others especially those close to my heart
4. make people laugh at their lowest moments
5. Be myself.
6. to end a legacy wrong parenting practies in my family.

Maybe.

I missed the bus for having a family.  There is another bus that I am supposed to take.

It kinda makes sense.
I thank God for that day when I was at my friend's place reflecting on what I am and where I am headed in the days to come.  The acceptance of my discernment.   My dharma.

While I relished the old memories for a day, I also look forward to the new memories to be made.

This past couple of days were memorable.  Realizations. Reflections. Playing Dad for a day was a blast.....at my old school.

Thank you Leo.

A Celebration of Life

​I just came from a wake. I must say is by far one of the happiest wakes I have ever been to, ever.

The wake was for a scooter club friend of mine's father, lets just call him Cheffy.  Cheffy's father passed on last week. He was about 74.

Why was the wake 'happy'? 

Well for one thing the atmosphere was festive. Pictures adorned the parlor. Chef's dad was in all of them-trips with his family, the many happy occasions, his adventures in life.  There were simultaneous slideshows depicting the departed's colorful life and though no words were spoken the theme was definitely one of celebration.  The casket was flanked by his riding gear and one of his bikes....a BIG BAD ASS (pardon my French) Harley Davidson. 

And then there was the music.  Being a music buff myself.  I was taken aback as the melody of the Beatles, Sergio Mendes and other artists of the period serenaded the air via a real live turntable!  If there were cocktails being served, it would have been a full blown party!  The food was tasty and flowing. I particularly enjoyed the freshly brewed coffee.

With other club members I sat and chatted sympathizing with Cheffy and his family. Though the whole time, I was in total awe of the droves of mourning guests that kept on coming.   

Clearly here lay a man, loved by many family and friends alike.

Though Chef is an acquaintance I can see the love he received from his father and his entire family.  More than the finer things in life that they enjoy, they were a loving family that is loved by many others as well.  The material things did not define them. 

I already went there a few days ago to pay my respects, I had to go again because of message from Chef was relayed to club members that he really appreciated the support of the club in his family's dark times and that he was comforted by the club members presence. 

Humbly, the Chef mentioned that he had fewer friends as time passed and that the club effort was such a boost for him. "Few" is relative.  It sure was not a few in my book.

What humility he displayed. Admirable.

It was then resolved that we go again and in full force we were there. True enough, Chef showed that appreciation again.  I was glad to be there for him at that time.

Coincidentally, (Then again I do not believe in coincidences, only co-incidents.) Four years ago today I said goodbye to a sailor that went to sail his final voyage to great ocean beyond. My own father.  As when my mother passed longer ago, the wakes were photographic to my memory. I never forgot who were there for my family and myself.  Amazing how good that felt.  Long time friends and family being with us when we really needed it.  

Let's just say I know how it feels for Cheffy.

Chef I am happy to witness how you celebrated your father's life and how you showed him all the love for his last ride to the great highway beyond. The same place we will all ride to - in God's time. Your Daddy must be so happy and proud of you all. Riding so high he will never die, in your hearts.

I can only dream that when my number is up that I have a farewell like Cheffy's dad.  A celebration of life. Something fitting for a man that lived his life, loved his family and was loved back.

Here's one for our fathers Chef: