Serendipity Happens

Serendipity Happens

Strange.  A drunk woman once tried to show the world how stupid I am by asking me if I could spell SERENDIPITY and if I knew what it meant.   

In disbelief, I calmly answered her that I think it has something to do with baking ingredients.  She got her kick.  I was an idiot to all of the 15 people in the bar that were her friends.

After they were amazed at my ignorance and Forrest Gumpnes, I excused myself to go to the Men's Room.  Before leaving though, I wittingly retorted to the intoxicated woman that was showcasing how smart she was at putting people down.  

I go in a clear crisp loud voice: "Did you mean serendipity as in a fortunate accident as defined in the Webster Dictionary or Serendipity as in the 1994 movie with John Cusack and a gorgeous Kate Beckinsale where Annie Lennox went solo and sang her version of "Waiting in Vain" originally done by Sir Bob Marley?"

When I got back from the head, all of the people in the bar were quiet and had a strange stare at me.

Anyways.  this is about Francis and hs late wife Bessie and not about that self aggrandizing gangrene brained woman.  Their names have been changed for anonymity.  Those that know me can figure them out.

SERENDIPITY
Beg all you want
Demand
Force
Things that a person can do for want of
something or
someone
An act of Serendipity?
Hope
Pray
The only way
-by the same Author

I have a friend I hang out with a lot I spend night at his house where it warm, tranquile and plain chill.  We go back 26 years.  College.  Francis was an honor student, I majored in Pale Pilsen.  We were dorm mates and we joined the same fraternity.

Francis is bright, a born leader and an achiever.  He is no stranger to adversity; hard times have befallen him and his family.  Death, disease, money, they’ve endured it all.  All these trials made Francis stronger. One thing I noticed is how resilient and tempered Francis came to be.

Francis has been a widower for a couple of years.  Another thing that I admire is how much he pays tribute to his late wife, he lights her a candle daily at home and prays for her.  Now that’s love in my book.

Oftentimes, Francis would recall the happy times, how they met and this is where the story starts.  Pictures abound his home of all the happy times they shared as a couple, as a family.

Over a decade ago Francis was working in a stone manufacturing company as GM,  as such, he entertained numerous clients.  One day, he was with a cousin in a bar in Makati when a lady sent her some drinks.  Surprised, he graciously accepted the gift for this girl that turned out to be an architect that was once his customer years ago,  Meeting in that same bar years later is serendipity in itself but it gets better.

They started a friendship.  Spoke on the phone for hours of this world and of the next.  They got it on.  Four years of dating passed and they were official.  The way Francis told me how it went was like it was so natural.  They understood each other, shared common interest.  They were soul mates.

Later on Bessie admitted that when they met, she KNEW Francis was the type of guy she would want to marry. Someday. 

Bessie was a rock chick.  She was pure Soungarden, Steely Dan Rock and Roll.  She was smart being an architect and yet still had that artiste attitude and remained compassionate particularly to the workers she does projects with.  I saw this myself.  

Francis was the more sedate contemporary music "Country" kinda guy.  Opposites.  Yet they matched.

By the time Bessie and Francis got together, she was a single mom to a wonderful four year old daughter that Francis took in as his own.  The kid was bubbly and even innocently asked him to be her daddy because she did not have one,  another gift was bestowed to Francis.

I lost touch with Francis for a while.  In the few times I visited him I saw that he was happy.  Married. Thriving business, growing child.  I even saw one of Bessie’s gift to Francis, an official billiard table.  All of them were so happy.

A pattern in my life as a bachelor is once a close friend settles down, I try to keep out of their way.  Nothing personal or anything like that.  I just want my friends to enjoy what they now have. Families, kids, a home.  In this case, Francis was in total bliss, living in a humble quiet home surrounded by family and his local friends.  To me, distancing myself is the best for all.  My friends have more on their plates.  I chose not to fill mine.  It’s cool.  It is my destiny.

Years  passed and I would see Francis on occasion.  I learned that Bessie had a condition.  Something about her kidneys.  I shied away from the details. That was just me.  More than 3 years ago the tragedy came.  Bessie passed away after a long battle with her illness.

The way Francis recalled Bessie's passing was that they were about to check out of one of their numerous visits to the hospital.  Bessie felt faint.  Francis was holding her in the room.   Their daughter Marie was looking on.  Bessie’s last words were “Papa”.  She went limp.  She was gone.  Just like that.  Simple. Quiet.  Her father passed on so many years before....

Years have passed.  Life goes on.  Francis still lights a candle, says a prayer and misses his Bessie.

Often I ask Francis about the good times.  Always I get a remark from him that if he could do it again, with the same outcome, he would still go through it again, in a heartbeat.   

Francis dates at times but none measure up to what he had.  I can't blame him.  Bessie was a class of her own.  It would be unfair to compare her to other women but with how she was with Francis, that is just too hard to do.

Lucky man, I ALWAYS tell him that.  I never will experience what he did. The joy, the pain and the love.  What a blessed man.  I cannot help but envy men like him and some of my other friends that truly love their spouses.  To elucidate:

One asked me to buy flowers late at night for his wife which I gladly did because he was overseas and did not have a chance to get them himself.  Another married a woman and never ever cheated on her....until now and its been like 15 years.  One married his high school sweetheart.  They have been together since.  She always supported him, even if he is jumping out of planes or getting shot at by Abu Sayyaf.  Another couple, both medical professionals give out to charity and practice their profession with people like me.  The difference is, they REALLY care about my well being and are not merely "clinical".  Another has such an understanding and loving wife that allows him  to freely hang with friends, go out at night follow his passion for music.  

Some guys just have all the luck.

There are horror stories as well but this is not one of them.  Those are the stories that make me wanna stay alone and single.  Sadly, more have this condition than the previous I mentioned.  I would rather be alone than make my life a living hell.

To me, this is a true story of love.  Real love and not the kind movies with great soundtracks or of cheesy soaps are made of.  Like Kalapana once sang this is "the real thing".  Growing old with each other.  Sharing thoughts.  Caring for each other in sickness and doing the gross stuff for each other that is never depicted in movies.  That is real love.  Genuine and true for love this is, me.

Serendipity does not juat happen.  There are no coincidences.  It happens because God had a hand in it.  It was no fortunate accident for Francis and Bessie.  God brought them together.  It was meant to be, a move in a cosmic game of chess.

Though I also feel your loss Francis, I still maintain that your wife never left you.  She lives in your daughter.  She is near you.  She is in you. Your home brims with her presence.  You are such a blessed man.

This is for you Bessie.  Fly to the angels, heaven awaits your call and flowers bloom in your name... RIP.